Well, it’s been a moment between blogs.

I’ve been pondering on writing a blog about mothering for some time and it’s apt with Mother’s Day this weekend to pen some things I’ve been feeling to write about. Since my last blog writing I have become a mother twice over.

Becoming a mother can be a whirlwind. The adages will tell you nothing prepares you for it and in some ways I totally agree and in others I don’t. This brings me to the main bugbears I have around being a mother and what it means to be a mother in our society today.

Still unfortunately I feel like becoming a mother (and a parent in general) is not something in life we are prepared for.  How do you prepare yourself or another to bring another completely unique being into the world, be its sole source of nutrition, comfort, guidance and protection? Some things you can be educated on absolutely, which I was very fortunate to have guidance with prior to having my first child but still felt ‘at sea’ with a few things. 

The biggest support I received in hindsight was how steady I needed to be, how to support myself to stay connected to what I felt/knew was true – for me and my body and also for the new being and body in my care. 

SO MUCH bombards us to get in the way of this steadiness, stillness and connection. In life in general but especially during pregnancy and after the birth of our children.

From the time we are in hospital and the care team around us – which as many can attest can either be super fantastic or obstructive and unhelpful, to our early days of navigating how feeding works, sleep deprivation and factors contributing to it and then the days that follow where you move either in to a flow or a rut of parenting, and possibly a mix of the two depending on the day.

Being a parent can be chaotic, it is considered normal that this is the case and I think causes a lot of people stress and distress when their lives don’t resemble some sort of stability or equilibrium. Once again, dealing with this for me has stood out how steady and ‘ready’ we need to be as parents in order to not be affected by the ever-present changes and circumstances that can come our way. 

The only way to do this is with solid self-connection. 

Establishing this prior to having a child is key, but can be done at any time as like homeostasis in the body, which is always there – a set point and harmony the body moves and wants to come back to – we have a steadiness, stillness and point of harmony that we can always feel to come back to.

From this point we are wise beyond years and capable beyond what we may think. 

Things I’ve noticed support me in this solidness of connection, and returning to it if things go ‘off piste’ are relatively simple.

• – Going for a walk – the body and the mind love this – stagnation moves on and clarity is much easier

– Avoiding excess sugar – it’s so easy to grab a sugary snack when you’re feeling tired or out of sorts, and it’s not something I’ve mastered not doing all the time but I do notice the difference in my steadiness if I reach for something with higher protein/fat content or simply move on to something else and return to reconsider if I am actually hungry in that moment or need a different form of support/activity.

• – Phoning a friend – having people or even one person that you know when you call they bring you back, make you laugh and shake off the doldrums, can talk you ‘down off a ledge’ or simply just know who you are so you can be reminded is key.

– Having a lie down. It may only be 2 mins but sometimes it’s the reset I need and a ‘stop’ moment in amongst a busy day to start off in a different flow.

I have a lot more to say, I can feel so I’ll be writing more frequently again. Even if it is at 10.34pm on the night before Mother’s Day. It’s a joy to be back writing and sharing my ponderings with you all.